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It happened.

I missed the window to keep my streak of days alive in My Fitness Pal and the day count restarted. I had over 550 days in a row. Dang it! (Yes, I have a daughter in middle school during the social media age. Is it all making sense now?)


*Photo taken Dec. 31, 2021 in Nashville, TN right before Lady A and Dierks Bentley concert.


It’s only fitting that a new year is starting and it’s time for me to get real again. I hit my lowest weight – 190 pounds – in August of 2021 and I have been bouncing around in the mid 190’s ever since. In fact, my weight on January 15, 2022 (196.2 pounds) was EXACTLY the same as my last blog entry in September of 2021. A coincidence? NOPE! I know that weight LOSS needs special attention. I need to get back to eating, sleeping, exercising, thinking, and JOURNALING about it every day. That’s when change happens.


My workouts had been going strong last fall and then the sore knees began. I quit using the treadmill altogether and I even had to tone it down – stop jumping – in dance class, which KILLED me! The left knee healed but the right knee is still giving me trouble. I finally made a doctor appointment and I have an MRI scheduled in about a week. The doc is thinking I tore my meniscus and I probably have tendinitis along with it. What can I say? My long-standing motto of “Go Big or Go Home” is not working well for me anymore. My “going big” will cause me to “go home” and that is UNACCEPTABLE!


So I begin again.


But maybe I am looking at this all wrong. I have been using the My Fitness Pal app on and off since 2015, which was 5 years before I began this new journey. I use it because it helps to keep me on track. Will my addiction to sugar or my tendency to overeat ever go away permanently? I WISH! So if I am serious about getting real, I need to accept that I will be tracking my food and exercise as long as I am able! I do it because it works and it makes me feel good about my choices.


Heck – I do it because I have NEVER felt this good about my body. I have been at this weight now for about 10 months and I still do a double-take when I look in the mirror. I’M DOING IT! I’m keeping the weight off and still exercising! I got through Christmas without gaining weight! When I saw the doctor about my knee, the nurse recorded one of the lowest blood pressures I have ever had in my adult life!


Like I said earlier, it is no surprise that my stagnant weight coincides with the fact that I have not been tracking my food consistently. I’ll be honest. I was playing the game a little bit. I knew that My Fitness Pal would reset if I didn’t use it, so I would just swipe right and track food that I had not eaten, just so I wouldn’t lose my streak. How silly is that??? Come on now. What is more important – keeping my streak or being proud of a number that accurately represents my commitment? Maybe both :)


I have been using the app more often recently, but I am not going to pay attention to the number of days anymore. In my mind, this more recent weight-loss journey began in June of 2020 and I plan to keep this train barreling down the tracks for as long as possible!


What’s next, you ask? I am ready to push past the 190's and hit some new goals. With my knee still hurting, it will be more important than ever for me to track my calorie intake. I used to walk extra miles when I ate too much but I’m afraid that’s one of the reasons my knee hurts – over use!


Side gripe: Why does it always have to come back to calories in? It is so limiting! Just being at the gym keeps me away from the kitchen, ya know?


I also need to get real about my current weight. I have seen and felt lots of change after this 50 pound weight loss. The results and response from others has been so positive that I sometimes think that I am almost done. But that is far from the truth. I still need to lose 40 pounds in order to have a healthy BMI.


According to the CDC's website:

  • If your BMI is less than 18.5, it falls within the underweight range.

  • If your BMI is 18.5 to 24.9, it falls within the normal or Healthy Weight range.

  • If your BMI is 25.0 to 29.9, it falls within the overweight range.

  • If your BMI is 30.0 or higher, it falls within the obese range.


My BMI at the doctor’s office last week was 33.12.


And just like that – I feel like a total, worthless, big fat failure of a human being. After all of my hard work, I am STILL not good enough. Ok, I want to punch something.

Breathe.


*&%^$#!!!


It’s just a number. I am not going to give up. From the beginning, my goal was to have a healthy BMI. I am on the right path. My mom gave me the best quote to put on my next t-shirt. “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.”

My other reasons for wanting to lose weight have not changed – be healthy, feel good, sleep better, look sexier, live longer, etc. – but now I have a new reason to add. My good friend (pictured with me in this blog post) just got engaged so I want to look smaller/healthier for her wedding. Plus, my oldest daughter is getting older and who knows, I could be the Mother-of-the-Bride in a few short years!


The point is – I know what I need to do. Thankfully, I have developed some pretty powerful and effective habits over the last year and a half.


Come to think of it, I kicked some major ass over the last 18 months. I lost over 50 pounds!


I worked my way up to walking – elliptical, stationary bike, treadmill, etc. – over 5 miles a day. I consistently tracked my calories and stayed within my goal range for many of those days. I went from a size 22 to a size 12 and from 2XL to a medium! For heaven’s sake, I prioritized my health so much that I began an online blog and have over 50 posts! (I am on page 331 of my “manuscript” but those extra pages will be revealed at a later time.)


Starting again is always a little challenging, especially if you have chronic knee pain and you happen to come down with a bad cold at the same time, but at least I don’t have to convince myself that I can do it. There is ABSOLUTELY no doubt in my mind because I have been CRUSHING it over the last 18 months. I am not going to lie to myself and think it will be easy, but I know it’s doable and even more importantly – WORTH IT!


So I begin again. Day 1 or day 9,492, it doesn’t matter. I won’t stop. There is too much at stake. I want to keep all the progress I have made and see how much farther I can go. I want to achieve my ultimate dream of being a “normal/healthy” weight and fitting into “normal” size small-to-medium clothes.


We each only get one life to live and I am not about to let it go by without putting up one hell of a fight to make it the BEST possible life EVER!

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