Worth the sacrifice.
This year could not be over soon enough. It’s sad that we all want to wish it away, since we only get so many years on this earth, but what are we missing if we can’t even be together?
I just got off the phone with my sister and she and her family have decided not to come for our annual Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration that was set to happen on Thanksgiving weekend this year. (My mom and step-dad are not coming either.) No one will get it from our family since we already had Covid-19, 2 had symptoms and 2 did not, but there is no guarantee that my sister and her family wouldn’t get it from gas stations and rest areas that they would stop at on their way here. So it breaks my heart to think about spending the holidays without seeing them, or any of our extended family for that matter.
As I am feeling sorry for myself, I walk through the kitchen and pass by the early Christmas card we got from our good friends whose husband/father passed away in a motorcycle accident last August. Imagine how the window and precious daughter are feeling. They never get to spend another holiday with him again. (I know a little bit about that heartache, since our daughter passed away in 2007.) At least we get to video call our family over the holidays, so really, we still get to see each other. It won’t be the same, but if staying apart now helps to ensure that we will get to spend 20 more holidays together, than I choose the latter. There is no guarantee, though. It’s a guessing game right now, but you have to weigh your risks, make the smartest decisions and then hope for the best. What else can we do?
In the meantime, I continue to keep my focus on this weight loss journey. I have been tracking all of my food and getting as much exercise as time allows. I stayed well within my calories yesterday but today I was over by about 200-300 calories. (I REALLY wanted to eat the leftover Chinese food but I knew I should have measured it out first. My plate was heaping.) But I will suffer the consequences tomorrow when the scale is up because of the extra salt from the soy sauce and the extra calories from all of the lo mien noodles. I can’t be too hard on myself, though, because I stopped eating immediately and did not keep snacking throughout the night.
I am not able to get as much exercise as I would like, though. I do a quick 30 minute virtual class at lunch but thanks to my sore knee, I keep it low-impact and therefore, I do not sweat as much. At least I do not have to shower and change clothes afterward. Then at about 4pm, I go for a 3.5-mile walk with my neighbor. The sun does not go down until 5:30pm and lately, the temperatures have been in the 50’s, which is rare for November in North Dakota, so we are lucky to get the opportunity. We really booked it today, too, so I earned a good 400 calories afterward, which is the reason I got to eat supper at all!
This stage of the journey is sure hard on me, though. I want immediate gratification for all of this hard work but the scale doesn’t want to budge. I have days where I eat perfectly, yet there is no change. My goal for this week is to stay as close to my calorie goal as possible. I have made it 3 days so I only have 4 more days to go. Even if I watch the calories for 3 more days, that will make a big difference. Ok, that is what I will do. Saturday morning will be the official weigh-in day. I just need to hang in there and keep planning, tracking and exercising!
There I go again, wishing the time away. If it makes you feel any better, I plan to enjoy sleeping in my snuggly bed tonight, next to my snoring, but warm husband. Then I get to roll out of bed in the morning, get dressed and eat my favorite breakfast while catching up on the breaking news. Later, the neighbor and I will walk around lunchtime, since she has to run to town after school lets out. We are excited that we get to enjoy another 50 degree day again! Then my husband plans to make chicken on the grill for supper, which will be a treat. I could go on and on.
Life is too short and the LAST thing I want to do is think about the things that I am missing. My family and I will NEVER forget 2020 and all of the sacrifices we made by staying apart, but hopefully that will help to ensure that we get many more years-worth of celebrations together. Imagine if we did not have technology to keep us connected! We are lucky in so many ways. The brightest silver lining around this pandemic is that I can keep the focus on me and my weight loss goals. I will not have as many temptations since my family will not be bringing my favorite desserts. (There will be less work in the kitchen, too, after cooking for 4 people instead of 12.) To top it off, it would be amazing to end Thanksgiving Day without a tummy ache!
At the end of the call, my sister and I said we would make a promise to our children that we would have a big get-together as soon as this pandemic subsides. That means I get a few more months to work on this project before they will see me again. Won’t they be shocked when they do! I will be one hot, sexy momma! (To be honest, I have always called myself that, but I didn’t own it like I do now.) I guess that means that I better not waste ANY time before that happens. I will need to make the most of everyday to get the results I want, need and passionately desire so when my family sees me again, they have to pick their jaws up off the floor and stop themselves from calling 911 and filing a missing person’s report!